Adventures of a Clueless Evangelist: "Vol. 3: Fear Keeps Me From Evangelizing in the African American Community "

 

Hello fellow travelers, 

It's me Pastor Ant 

It's your boy Pastor Ant. Sorry it’s been a while since my last letter. In our last communication, we discovered two principles for evangelizing the African American community: 

1. Unchurched African Americans are around us all the time: See Them!!!

2. Our passions and interests tend to be an inexpensive ticket into relationships with unchurched  people.

Discovery is how we gain principles.
Image by drobotdean on Freepik

We discovered these two principles by answering the 1st of our  four questions: 

1. Where do unchurched African Americans hang out in my community? 

2. Why don't I hang out with unchurched African Americans? 

3. What are the tattoos that I am noticing on the African American canvas? 

4. What are the shoes that I am noticing in unchurched spaces? 

In this volume we will see what discoveries arise out of answering our second question “Why don’t I hang out with unchurched African Americans?” To answer this question I will start with a story.

On a warm fall day with a flood of brown, yellow, and red leaves on the ground, I went on a prayer walk in my community. As I walked up the street, I said “Hi” to a man walking on the other side of the road. He returned my “Hi” with a “Hi” back. The next sentence bubbles on my lips, but I stop myself from saying it: “ I am Pastor Anthony.” As I kept walking up that same street, I said “Hi” accompanied with a wave to two neighbors sitting in chairs, but they gave no acknowledgement. I had an idea “What if I walked up to them and said ‘Hi’.” My mind has a quick retort to its bright idea: “What if they view me as a threat”. Friends I spent an hour and a half prayer walking my community saying “Hi” to neighbors as I walked past them. In each interaction my mind had the same back and forth. Irony right? The pastor prayer walking in his community can not say he is a pastor to the people he is quietly praying for. Why couldn’t I say “Hi I am pastor Anthony”? Friends, it's simple: I was afraid. Yet, why was I so afraid? 

Why was I so afraid?
Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik

Firstly, my fear of rejection makes me afraid of relationships with unchurched African Americans. I grew up in a fatherless home since 13. I think I still struggle with that rejection. People not receiving me seems more scary, than them going to hell. In addition, this fear of rejection permeates my relationships with Black men. Receiving rejection from Black men opens up the wound my Father’s departure left in my soul. I am healed in the sense I know my heavenly father, but that scar from his departure has echoes. Consequently, I believe I do not trust my worth in Christ enough to handle rejections from people, especially Black men. As a result, my fear of rejection makes me afraid of having relationships with unchurched African Americans. 

This church is protected by gates like we want to keep people out rather than in.

Secondly, I fear disrupting my Christian safety. Our construct keeps us wary and afraid of the unchurched. Our constructs discipled us into believing that the church exists to protect us from the unchurched world. We believe that unchurched people will mess up our time in worship, fellowship, our comfort, and our safety. As a pastor, I spend a lot of time protecting our Christian comfort. However, protecting Christian comfort hinders our relationships with unchurched people. My fear of disrupting my Christian safety makes me afraid of unchurched people: an unintended by-product of our construct. It’s my suspicion, we have unintentionally locked the doors of the hospital, so sick people can’t get in. 

Fear causes $ to drive our outreach
Jcomp on FreePik

Thirdly, I have found that fear drives us to put pressure on our relationships with unchurched people. Our construct tells Christians that their relationships with unchurched people are only valuable in so much as the Christian can convince their unchurched friends to come on church territory. It’s my suspicion, we are turning our people into sales people rather than teaching them how to have authentic relationships with people. If we are honest, the construct of making our people into salesmen comes back to fear of losing our worship service. We fear if we do not get butts in the seats, then we will not support the budget to keep our highly protected worship services going. It’s my suspicion that as the American church we spend more money keeping a weekly worship service going than equipping our people to have weekly authentic engagement with unchurched people. I have realized that my fear of running out of money to support the worship service keeps me from authentic relationships with unchurched African Americans. 

African American Men are both feared and imitated in our world.
Image by bublikhaus on Freepik

Fourthly, I fear African American men. Society socializes us to see Black men as potential threats. I have also experienced that the slightest wrong look can set some men off. As a corollary, I avoid too much eye contact with other black men when I walk by them. Additionally, I have found I instinctively avoid making physical contact with African American men I do not know on the street, because a slight bump can function as a threat and lead to violence. Consequently, I have observed my initial interaction with black men is one of caution. On the other hand, our socialization means other Black men see me the same way. I have witnessed other African American men walk past me without eye contact while making sure we have enough physical distance that we do not touch. I am a 300 lb 6’3-6’4 African American male with a deep voice, which I realize can inspire fear in others. This discovery of my own fear of Black men made me realize that African American men shoulder a heavy burden of fear on these shores. We live with the reality of being feared by all other races of people including our own. Every step in this world requires a conscious effort not to disturb the equilibrium of non threatening presence and threatening presence. Disrupting that equilibrium could mean death at the hands of another person, including by the hands of other African American brothers. Consequently, I have found that my fear of disrupting the non threatening and threatening presence hinders my relationships with unchurched African Americans. 

Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik

Why don’t I hang out with unchurched African Americans? I fear. I fear rejection, especially from other black men,  I fear disrupting my Christian comfort , I fear losing the worship service, and I fear African American men. What are the principles we can draw from these discoveries? 

Image by DCStudio on Freepik

The first principle that arises from these discoveries is that: We must acknowledge our fear as evangelists to reach unchurched African Americans. Many would be evangelists to the African Americans community have fear that keeps them from having relationships with the unchurched in our community. It’s my suspicion that any evangelist that does not enter their mission field with fear probably should wait until they understand the assignment to reach unchurched people. The lie we tell ourselves is that we have to ignore our fear to enter the unchurched world or that fear should not be present in our hearts. I would argue we should all acknowledge the fear that keeps us from engaging with unchurched people. It gives us freedom to rely on God rather than ourselves to build relationships in unchurched territory. Who knows freedom from fear may mean that we might have fun with our unchurched neighbors. 

Rocking my sweatshirt by @alfuquanhardy as I travel today. Brothers in the airport saying, “Thank you” and clapping when I walk by 😂😜 It is facts though! #BlackMenAreDope pic.twitter.com/1pJ1IQ5EM0

— RevDr Danielle L. Brown (@PastorDanielle) November 5, 2022

The second principle that arises out of my discoveries is that we must trust the image of God in African American men. At the root of fearing African American men is that we do not trust that African American men are made in the image of God. Personally, this work of discovery has made me realize that I need to trust the image of God in my black body. Saints, we can not evangelize African American men without trusting the image of God at work in them. As Pastor Brown demonstrates in her tweet: Black Men Are Dope.

We must examine ourselves to trust the image of God in Black men
Image by DCStudio on Freepik

This trusting of the image of God in African American men leads us to a third principle: we must acknowledge ways we distrust the image of God in African American men. Acknowledging I fear black men made me see the need to trust the image of God in Black men. All of us have a social conditioning to fear African American men so to be an effective evangelist in the African American community means to see the ways that conditioning has affected us and our relationships with black men. 

Image on Freepik

In conclusion, recognizing fear keeps me from relationships with unchurched African Americans led me to three principles for evangelizing in the African American community: 

1. We must acknowledge our fear as evangelists to reach unchurched African Americans.

2. We must trust the image of God in African American men.

3. We must acknowledge ways we distrust the image of God in African American men

This means we have 5 total principles for evangelizing the African American community: 

1. Unchurched African Americans are around us all the time: See Them!!!

2. Our passions and interests tend to be an inexpensive ticket into relationships with unchurched  people.

3. We must acknowledge our fear as evangelists to reach unchurched African Americans.

4. We must trust the image of God in African American men.

5. We must acknowledge ways we distrust the image of God in African American men

I am so excited for how the rest of this journey will unfold. Next time we will see what principles arise out of answering the question: “What are the tattoos I am noticing on the African American canvas?” Yet, who knows, maybe discoveries in the unchurched world will take us on a different journey. 

While you wait for Volume 4, please join the adventure team. You can join by continuing to notice tattoos and shoes on the black canvas just like me. Also, try putting the 5 principles to work. You can tell me all about it by sending me an email to ajohnson@ncfstl.org. A second way to join the team is pray for the work. Lastly, please join the team by supporting my work financially as I head out on this adventure to become a faithful evangelist amongst African Americans by giving toward my  Evangelize Today residency. Follow the instructions on this link and remember in the additional info section for online giving please put "Gift Toward Anthony M.A. Johnson Residency 'Adventures of A Clueless Evangelist'

See you on the trail,

Pastor Anthony M.A. Johnson